13 Comments
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Mary F Holley's avatar

I used to be afraid of being wrong. Now I'm more afraid of being right. I made friends with the Infinite and Incomprehensible. If I make a statement about Him/Her/It and there is no room in my statement for another opinion or a different angle, I have reduced the Uncreated Being to something small, something known, something a great deal less than the Wisdom, Power, and Love that produced such a magnificent world. I have made an idol.

Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

Mary, that’s beautifully said. When we make peace with the Infinite, certainty stops feeling like faith and starts looking like idolatry. Mystery keeps God vast enough to still be God.

Steve Petry's avatar

Recovery is a life long journey. Mine began on January 31st 1974 when I was 24 years old. I never thought of certainty as an addiction. Control is its kiss-in cousin. Thank you for that enlightenment. It sucks just like the rest of them.

Joe Boyd's avatar

Congrats on your sobriety, Steve

Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

Steve, fifty years on the path is no small thing. You’re right — certainty and control walk hand in hand. Letting go of either can feel like withdrawal, but the freedom on the other side is worth it.

Robert Wortman's avatar

It will be 28 years in September, hearing these read at every meeting.

Joe Boyd's avatar

Congrats, Robert.

Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

This is gold, Joe. Certainty feels like a fortress until you realize it’s actually a cage. The 12-step frame turns deconstruction from a demolition into a recovery, where humility and curiosity take the place of control. That’s the kind of sobriety the world could use more of.

Raya's avatar

welp. 25 years sober, and the dogma of so many recovery groups is still off-putting. Yet it continues, so I just don't go much and try to take just the good bits.

For me, healing from toxic faith demands an almost atheistic approach- more concrete, more human scaled. Call it de-programming, religious recovery, or just growth, but that "sacred" shell has to go.

To borrow from my more woo-woo friends, the connectedness, the energy, the spirit, won't travel through our self grown shell.

Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

Raya, that’s a sharp truth. Sometimes the shell we were handed in the name of ‘sacred’ has to crack completely before anything real can move through. Keeping the good bits and tossing the rest is its own kind of sobriety.

Sharon Castillo's avatar

I have come to understand that addiction, no matter what form or mechanism I choose to use for coping, it's the "thing" I need to work on healing. I participated in a Celebrate Recovery program that helped heal my co-dependency issues, one step at a time and one day at a time. Looking at addiction through the lense you just presented is so helpful. I can see clearer now. Thanks

Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

Sharon, that’s powerful work. When we see the coping mechanism as just the surface and start healing the deeper need, everything shifts. I’m glad this lens brought a bit more clarity to the picture.