New Subscriber to my Substack? Start Here.
We've picked up a lot of new subscribers recently. It's probably time for a refresher on what we are all about here.
This is a different kind of post.
It’s meant to onboard new readers and also serve as a reminder for some of you who’ve been around here for a while.
A quick suggestion on how to best use this post:
There are a lot of links below to older articles and series. My advice is to read this full post first, then go back and explore whichever links or topics interest you most. Think of this less like a normal article and more like a map of the strange little corner of the internet we’ve built together here.
There are three great mysteries in the world:
God, or whatever name we choose to give to the mystery we don’t have words to properly explain.
The longevity of Grey’s Anatomy.
The Substack algorithm.
I usually talk about the first one.
The second one is beyond any human understanding.
So let’s briefly discuss the third one.
Over the last two weeks, subscriptions here have grown by over 10%. That means more than 300 of you are brand new here. I have no idea why a few of my older articles suddenly decided to pop off, but they did.
Whether you are new or have been here since I started this 14 months ago…
I’m very glad you’re here.
The two articles most of you discovered were these:
“John 3:16 Is Actually About Deconstruction” and “Biblical Adultery Isn’t ‘Sex Outside of Marriage.’”
(Though judging by the numbers, a lot more of you came through the second one. Sex still sells, evidently.)
What’s interesting is that post is Part Seven of a ten-part series I wrote four months ago. It suddenly took off out of nowhere last week. (See life mystery #3 above.)
So if you are new here, I just want to help you catch up and give you a fuller picture of what I’m doing here.
And before we go further, I should probably define what I mean by “deconstruction,” because people use that word in wildly different ways.
Around here, deconstruction simply means honestly reexamining inherited beliefs, systems, and stories with the eventual goal to rebuild a faith, or lack of one, that is healthy for you.
That’s it.
This is a safe place to doubt, and ask questions, and unlearn.
I genuinely do not care what you end up believing.
I do care that you have a safe space to figure things out. I didn’t fully have that when I began deconstructing 20 years ago, so I am trying to provide it for others now.
The Ten Commandments Series
Since many of you came here through Commandment Seven, you may want to read the full Ten Commandments series.
I originally posted each commandment separately, but afterward I combined them into one massive article. It’s basically an ebook at this point.
Related to that, before the commandments series I wrote “A Brief History of Sex and Marriage,” which more fully lays out why the “biblical view of marriage” isn’t actually what most of us were taught growing up.
I’ve also written other “Brief History” posts on topics like heaven, hell, God, the Bible, and abortion.
The goal of those posts is not to destroy anyone’s faith. It’s to explain how, after years of personal study, I came to see the evolution of certain “truths.” Most of us were born into a world where these ideas already felt ancient, settled, and timeless.
But they weren’t.
They evolved over centuries.
And once you start seeing that process, it changes the way you read almost everything.
Most people who arrive here are carrying some combination of confusion, grief, anger, relief, curiosity, loneliness, or exhaustion. I know that because I carried those things too.
For me, deconstruction is both emotional and intellectual. I try to address both sides of it in my writing here.
From the intellectual side, I’ve come to see deconstruction as fundamentally a history project.
Seeing how we got to where we are is necessary to begin to unlearn the things we were told to never question.
My Story (And What I Actually Believe)
If you’d like to read my personal story of how I went from religious kid to successful megachurch pastor to deconstructed ex-evangelical, you can read that here.
And while I make it very clear that my work is not trying to get anyone to believe anything, but rather to tell the story of my own journey in a way that might help inform yours, you can also read what I currently believe here.
My proselytizing years are over.
Believe whatever you want. I legitimately don’t care where you land.
I am out of the converting business.
The Rules of Deconstruction Club
We value questions over answers, stories over certainty, and data over dogma.
(I borrowed that last phrase from public theologian Dan McClellan.)
I haven’t posted these rules in over a year, so even if you aren’t new, it’s probably a good time for a refresher.
Rule #1: No proselytizing.
We’re not here to win people over.
Not back to Jesus.
Not to atheism.
Not to progressive Christianity.
If your goal is to make someone agree with you, this probably isn’t your space.
And this absolutely includes me.
For this to work, I can’t care what you end up believing. So I don’t.
That’s not my job.
It doesn’t mean I won’t be honest about what I believe. At times, I may even be extremely confident in some of my current beliefs. It doesn’t mean I need you to believe the way I do.
Also, I am wrong about some things. Even things I am confident about. I just don’t know yet what things I currently believe that I will later discover to be in error.
The above is true for all of you as well.
Rule #2: Questions are holier than answers.
Most of us were taught that having the right answers was the goal.
But here, questions are the sacred thing.
Especially the uncomfortable ones.
Especially the ones that lead to more questions.
Rule #3: Grace, empathy, and respect are non-negotiable.
A lot of us are coming out of deep wounds.
Church hurt.
Family trauma.
Spiritual manipulation.
Fear.
You don’t have to agree with someone else’s conclusions.
But you do have to be kind.
We’re trying to build a place where people can question anything and evolve into who they were always meant to be.
Rule #4: Data over dogma.
We’re not going to twist facts to protect inherited beliefs.
We’re going to look honestly at text, history, context, scholarship, and lived experience, then follow the evidence where it leads.
If something can’t survive contact with reality, it’s probably not for us.
Rule #5: No assholes.
Seriously.
If you come in here swinging, belittling people, trolling, or trying to dominate the conversation, you’re out.
And yes, I get to decide who counts as an asshole.
It’s not a democracy.
If you break this rule, I will banish you back to the hellscape of Facebook without hesitation.
A Few More Posts to Explore
Here are a few more links you may find helpful to some of my most-read posts.
I did a series called “Jesus, Buddha, and Socrates” where I imagine the three of them hanging out in modern America. The first post in that series is still my most-read post to date.
Another post that resonated with a lot of people was my take on 2 Timothy 3:16 (“All Scripture is God-breathed…”), where I unpack what that verse likely meant in its original context versus how many of us were taught to use it.
Also, this is actually my second Substack.
My first one is called Called For Adventure, and it’s where I stay more in my professional lane as a story expert and storytelling strategist. (You know…my actual day job.)
I post there a few times a week about storytelling, story theory, personal development, creativity, leadership, and finding your calling. It’s not deconstruction or faith content, but many people enjoy both spaces for different reasons.
Feel free to subscribe there as well.
One Final Thing
Everything I write—both here and on my professional Substack—is free.
I never want money to be the reason someone can’t access this work.
This work genuinely matters to me.
The tradeoff is that I do regularly ask for support when the work feels valuable to you.
Between the two Substacks, I write 5–8 posts a week and spend roughly 20 hours a week creating this content.
So if this work has helped you, challenged you, comforted you, or made you think, please consider becoming a paid subscriber if you’re financially able.
You can also support me by preordering my upcoming book De-vangelical: Unlearning the faith we were given to find the faith we need at the links below or by making a donation to my personal Venmo.
No pressure.
But if my work genuinely adds value to your life, please support me if you can.
What matters most is that you’re here!
I am glad we found each other.
De-Vangelical Book Preorder options:
1. eBook — $25 — Order the eBook here.
2. Signed Hardcover — $50 — Order the Hardcover here.
3. Launching Supporter — $250 — This level makes a huge difference.
You’ll receive:
two signed hard copies
your name printed in the acknowledgment section
an invitation to the virtual book launch party
and, honestly, a lot of gratitude from me