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Camilla Joy's avatar

I just wrote about my own struggles with "is this God thing even real?" And trying to wrestle through the fear. Thank you for this framework.

I also decided, I just simply like the version of myself who lives as though everyone is loved by God, including me. That's worth it to me.

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Aaron Burgess's avatar

The C.S. Lewis argument also fell short for me, but many found it appealing. The main issue I had with Lewis' argument and apologetics was that it failed to address the morality of the cross and the doctrine of substitutionary atonement. Was Christianity an Iron Age human sacrifice cult? Sorry if that offends you. The death of Christ is central to Christianity (at least it was), and most rituals that the church performed involved this depiction/remembrance of a crucified "god" tortured to appease an angry deity. If God was good, this was a poor example of His goodness.

I was taught this doctrine as a child: Jesus died for my sins. And no one thought about the moral problems with this or with the cannibalistic focus of the Eucharist. I remember seeing a play at Easter about the crucifixion, and I had nightmares. I was deeply troubled as a child by the depiction. But no one, not even my mother, considered it a problem. Parents took their children to see Gibson's Passon of the Christ, the most violent and disturbing film I had seen, aside from Schindler's List.

I think it is hard to unlearn a fear of God when the Christian God is depicted as one who requires human blood to appease his anger for sin.

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