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Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

Joe, thank you for naming what so many of us have been carrying in silence.

Deconstructed Pastor doesn’t feel like a platform—it feels like a sacred pause. Like the room between breaths where the old certainties fall quiet, and something raw and beautiful has room to speak. You’ve built a space that honors the ache, the curiosity, the slow reweaving of belief—not to rush people “back to church,” but to walk with them while they find their way, whatever that becomes.

Your refusal to preach, proselytize, or pretend to know it all is exactly what makes your voice trustworthy. You’re not leading from certainty—you’re companioning from experience. That’s holy work.

Grateful to be here.

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Ninna's avatar

Hi, Joe. I'm a former Vineyard member. (We've been connected via FB the whole time, which is how I arrived here.) I left church a long time ago. When church representatives come to my front door at home, I lie and say the Vineyard is (still) my church so that they'll leave me alone-- and quickly!

Eventually, I'll likely tell some stories, but for now I'm here to read.

Okay, I do have one story: If you remember Warren Barfield (musician), he is making music again in a way he never expected. He was off of social media and not playing guitar nor singing for 7 years and then a year ago rejoined social media to share music again. He's since hosted a few intimate concerts with no intentions of touring or returning to his old life. His journey is not unlike yours, where you are still reaching out to others and talking about faith, despite no longer being a pastor. It's interesting to me to see the similarities in your journeys and where you both are now. Since I was on his old email list, that's how I found out he was making music again, and I attended one of the concerts! I drove from Cincy to TN to hear him play again. I could tell a lot of the people there are still Christians, and I don't consider myself to be one anymore. But I still love his music and think he's a helluva good person. So being there was great as a fan/friend of his, but it was also very weird being part of the crowd who were occasionally shouting, "Amen!" and knowing they are still very much part of something that I left behind.

Same deal at a Skillet concert. This year my son invited my husband and I to go see Skillet with him. His friends weren't available, so we went partially to keep him company and partially because we enjoy their music. It was so odd being in a HUGE crowd of not only tens of thousands of Christians, but a lot of them were probably (statistically) on the opposite side from us politically. And these days, being opposites politically, a lot of times, equals being opposites on the basics of fundamental human rights. So I couldn't shake that feeling the whole time and I couldn't truly relax to enjoy the show. I was on edge a bit. Maybe I'm being dramatic, but I felt a little like I was trying to 'blend in' while I was in enemy territory and constantly thinking/worrying the truth is going to be "discovered" or somehow revealed that I'm being an imposter. Not that I was actively pretending to be anything I'm not. That is just how I felt. It seemed almost dangerous to put myself in a crowd that size when I didn't belong there. I hope that makes sense.

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