I am excited about the zoom meetings too. I have left the evangelical church. I don't feel safe there anymore. There were things I loved about it in the past, but as I have continued to work with people in recovery, helping them to get out of the "black and white thinking" of substance abuse, and into the "gray" of recovery I've always known that spiritually I can not embrace religious doctrine that has an all or nothing requirement. In recovery when we think like that, black and white, we are in the sickness part, not the recovering part. Since being in VA I really see religious dogma practiced which is very unattractive to me but interestingly, being here surrounded by a lake, trees, beautiful woodland creatures, etc I have had a profound awakening to a beautiful pantheonistic nature/ nuture spiritual conciousness. I feel my higher power in the wind, trees, animals, water, etc. It has been powerful. I feel God, Jesus, spirit guides, ancestors, animals and other ascended masters blending all together to create a harmony in my soul.
Thank you Joe for sharing your process of clarifying your faith. I resonate with a lot of this. More importantly, it gave me permission to begin to name aspects of my faith.
I am recognizing that I resonate with relational, liberating, mystical, and panentheistic.
Relational because I believe that God is love first and foremost. God also liberates through relationship (spiritually, psychologically, and eventually physically through the resurrection) and does not coerce or force others to do anything. God is mystical because I believe that God makes themselves known primarily through experience—either in quiet solitude, in relationships, or through nature. Which brings me to my last viewpoint, that God is in all things, but not limited by them. God is not “out there,” but in and flowing through all things.
Also, thanks for not dumbing it down and giving permission to think things through. There are plenty of simplistic views out there—I’ve tried them, they don’t work for me.
Lastly, this felt very freeing to write. I don’t have to limit myself to this view or that and I have the freedom to keep learning and expanding my views as I see fit. 🙏
Joe, you beautiful wandering contradiction, you’ve done it again—pulled together a handful of labels like a mystic at the farmers market trying to explain why he buys kale and incense.
But let’s not pretend this isn’t witchcraft.
You called it “agnostic mystic materialist liberal Christian.” That’s not a belief system—it’s a charm against certainty. A holy hex on every fundamentalist who tries to pin you down like a butterfly with a Bible verse.
And I get it. Because the minute you stop believing in inerrancy, the vultures circle. They call you lost, lukewarm, or worst of all—emergent. So what do you do? You pick up the crumbs of your soul, wrap them in mystery and metaphysics, and whisper, “I still believe in something, dammit. I’m just not sure what to name it.”
Here’s what I love: You don’t pretend your theology fits in a tract. You say, “I follow Jesus… kinda. Not the Republican Jesus, not the colonial Jesus, and definitely not the ‘personal trainer with a sword’ Jesus. I follow the one who got murdered by an empire and still whispered love through his last breath.”
That’s the Jesus who visits mystics in their dreams and burns their certainty to ash.
And your materialism? Bless it. If your soul rises out of neurons and poetry, not pearly gates and afterlife insurance, that’s still sacred. That’s still spirit.
In fact, if the breath of God animates all matter, then the communion wafer is the body—because everything is. Even the dirt. Even the doubt.
So label yourself. Or don’t. But remember: Labels are only dangerous when someone else is doing the naming.
Yours are a map.
To those still in the dark? You left the lantern lit.
Virgin Monk Boy
Apostle of Anarchy. Mystic of Muck. Friend to Heretics and Hesitators Alike.
This post resonates. I’m on much the same page as you, Joe. Though I feel my spiritual path is too broad to really attach the “Christian” label to anymore. I had a revelation a while back that “God is too big for just one religion”. That said, I still have a deep regard for Jesus and his ministry.
So my self-label might be: “Spiritual-Agnostic with a pantheistic leaning (and a big fan of Jesus & Mr Rogers)”
Despite my agnosticism, I feel like I have a deeper ‘faith’ (and definitely a deeper spirituality) now, than I ever did as a fundamentalist (JW). Authenticity matters, and using our god/universe/nature-given brains is such a gift.
Yes, very good. For too long, I, along with many within Christianity, have made the Bible something it is not. Something it never said it was, inerrant, perfect, the word of God. The Bible is a collection of writings of various people over many years. The writings were finally put together by men who decided what was 'inspired' and what was not, and from there the church has seemed to make it part of the trinity, Father, Son and Holy Bible. I totally disregard that thought anymore and take the Bible as a guide written by imperfect people who were writing to others about their quest to find and know God.
"Some time ago I made the decision to never be ashamed of my curiosity and intellect again."
Yes!
For too long, I sent my kids to a conservative Christian school (still repenting, lol, of that).
One child came up to me one day, and said they had questions, but didn't want ro make God mad. I said God gave you a brain and expects you to use it- there are no questions that can't be asked.
Whether that brain was evolved or created, it needs using.
Personally, the "simplified" version of faith is a basic trinity: -There was a creator. -There is a creation, the universe and us in it, the Jesus part. -There seems to be a connection between the created, the spirit part.
Beyond that who knows? Not me, but it can be an interesting conversation.
I really connect with what you are writing. I’m a scientist and spent many years in evangelical churches. Those were wonderful times and what I needed in my journey then. Until they weren’t. About 15-20 years ago I reached a point where I could no longer hide or deny the fact that I saw inconsistencies. It is my nature to pull on the threads I see and understand where they lead. I felt like I was waking up to discover that my faith community only valued asking questions and seeking answers if they led quickly to a narrow set of prescribed answers. Doubts were a sign of weakness. I felt like I had to hide who I was. It all began to unravel when I began to study and understand what the Bible is and how it was written. Those were tough years and you’ve written about the pain of deconstruction. Back then I hadn’t heard that term and didn’t know that was what I was going through. I’m on the other side now - reconstructing a more authentic faith and in a faith community that values lived experience, mystery, questions, history, and scripture as sources of spiritual knowledge.
Loved it. These are the thoughts that have been playing pickleball in my head, too. Stepping forward with open hands, mind and heart. God is good. (That’s all I know for sure.) ❤️
Thank you explaining the things zive been feeling truthfully for most of my life. I am excited to do one of your zoom groups.
Thanks, Jill! I am excited for you to be a part of this. I am hoping to set the fist one up in a month or so. Thank you for being a paid subscriber!
I am excited about the zoom meetings too. I have left the evangelical church. I don't feel safe there anymore. There were things I loved about it in the past, but as I have continued to work with people in recovery, helping them to get out of the "black and white thinking" of substance abuse, and into the "gray" of recovery I've always known that spiritually I can not embrace religious doctrine that has an all or nothing requirement. In recovery when we think like that, black and white, we are in the sickness part, not the recovering part. Since being in VA I really see religious dogma practiced which is very unattractive to me but interestingly, being here surrounded by a lake, trees, beautiful woodland creatures, etc I have had a profound awakening to a beautiful pantheonistic nature/ nuture spiritual conciousness. I feel my higher power in the wind, trees, animals, water, etc. It has been powerful. I feel God, Jesus, spirit guides, ancestors, animals and other ascended masters blending all together to create a harmony in my soul.
Sounds like you've been on a worthy journey :)
Yay! Can’t wait to be in one of these Zoom groups with you, friend. I am on the same exact path. :)
Sherri I am so happy to hear this. I've not known who to trust to share this with.
Well, this is heartwarming. :)
Thank you Joe for sharing your process of clarifying your faith. I resonate with a lot of this. More importantly, it gave me permission to begin to name aspects of my faith.
I am recognizing that I resonate with relational, liberating, mystical, and panentheistic.
Relational because I believe that God is love first and foremost. God also liberates through relationship (spiritually, psychologically, and eventually physically through the resurrection) and does not coerce or force others to do anything. God is mystical because I believe that God makes themselves known primarily through experience—either in quiet solitude, in relationships, or through nature. Which brings me to my last viewpoint, that God is in all things, but not limited by them. God is not “out there,” but in and flowing through all things.
Also, thanks for not dumbing it down and giving permission to think things through. There are plenty of simplistic views out there—I’ve tried them, they don’t work for me.
Lastly, this felt very freeing to write. I don’t have to limit myself to this view or that and I have the freedom to keep learning and expanding my views as I see fit. 🙏
I love this Jared. So much
Labels Are Spells, Not Cages
Joe, you beautiful wandering contradiction, you’ve done it again—pulled together a handful of labels like a mystic at the farmers market trying to explain why he buys kale and incense.
But let’s not pretend this isn’t witchcraft.
You called it “agnostic mystic materialist liberal Christian.” That’s not a belief system—it’s a charm against certainty. A holy hex on every fundamentalist who tries to pin you down like a butterfly with a Bible verse.
And I get it. Because the minute you stop believing in inerrancy, the vultures circle. They call you lost, lukewarm, or worst of all—emergent. So what do you do? You pick up the crumbs of your soul, wrap them in mystery and metaphysics, and whisper, “I still believe in something, dammit. I’m just not sure what to name it.”
Here’s what I love: You don’t pretend your theology fits in a tract. You say, “I follow Jesus… kinda. Not the Republican Jesus, not the colonial Jesus, and definitely not the ‘personal trainer with a sword’ Jesus. I follow the one who got murdered by an empire and still whispered love through his last breath.”
That’s the Jesus who visits mystics in their dreams and burns their certainty to ash.
And your materialism? Bless it. If your soul rises out of neurons and poetry, not pearly gates and afterlife insurance, that’s still sacred. That’s still spirit.
In fact, if the breath of God animates all matter, then the communion wafer is the body—because everything is. Even the dirt. Even the doubt.
So label yourself. Or don’t. But remember: Labels are only dangerous when someone else is doing the naming.
Yours are a map.
To those still in the dark? You left the lantern lit.
Virgin Monk Boy
Apostle of Anarchy. Mystic of Muck. Friend to Heretics and Hesitators Alike.
This post resonates. I’m on much the same page as you, Joe. Though I feel my spiritual path is too broad to really attach the “Christian” label to anymore. I had a revelation a while back that “God is too big for just one religion”. That said, I still have a deep regard for Jesus and his ministry.
So my self-label might be: “Spiritual-Agnostic with a pantheistic leaning (and a big fan of Jesus & Mr Rogers)”
Despite my agnosticism, I feel like I have a deeper ‘faith’ (and definitely a deeper spirituality) now, than I ever did as a fundamentalist (JW). Authenticity matters, and using our god/universe/nature-given brains is such a gift.
Keep up the good work.
I’m partial to Jesus and Mr. Roger’s also ☺️
Yes, very good. For too long, I, along with many within Christianity, have made the Bible something it is not. Something it never said it was, inerrant, perfect, the word of God. The Bible is a collection of writings of various people over many years. The writings were finally put together by men who decided what was 'inspired' and what was not, and from there the church has seemed to make it part of the trinity, Father, Son and Holy Bible. I totally disregard that thought anymore and take the Bible as a guide written by imperfect people who were writing to others about their quest to find and know God.
"Some time ago I made the decision to never be ashamed of my curiosity and intellect again."
Yes!
For too long, I sent my kids to a conservative Christian school (still repenting, lol, of that).
One child came up to me one day, and said they had questions, but didn't want ro make God mad. I said God gave you a brain and expects you to use it- there are no questions that can't be asked.
Whether that brain was evolved or created, it needs using.
Personally, the "simplified" version of faith is a basic trinity: -There was a creator. -There is a creation, the universe and us in it, the Jesus part. -There seems to be a connection between the created, the spirit part.
Beyond that who knows? Not me, but it can be an interesting conversation.
I really connect with what you are writing. I’m a scientist and spent many years in evangelical churches. Those were wonderful times and what I needed in my journey then. Until they weren’t. About 15-20 years ago I reached a point where I could no longer hide or deny the fact that I saw inconsistencies. It is my nature to pull on the threads I see and understand where they lead. I felt like I was waking up to discover that my faith community only valued asking questions and seeking answers if they led quickly to a narrow set of prescribed answers. Doubts were a sign of weakness. I felt like I had to hide who I was. It all began to unravel when I began to study and understand what the Bible is and how it was written. Those were tough years and you’ve written about the pain of deconstruction. Back then I hadn’t heard that term and didn’t know that was what I was going through. I’m on the other side now - reconstructing a more authentic faith and in a faith community that values lived experience, mystery, questions, history, and scripture as sources of spiritual knowledge.
Nodding my head at the question… “what is the Bible, really?” Yes.
just finished tomorrow's post on why we need to quit asking "Is it Biblical?" :)
Loved it. These are the thoughts that have been playing pickleball in my head, too. Stepping forward with open hands, mind and heart. God is good. (That’s all I know for sure.) ❤️
And yet here I am. A walking miracle.