The image of Jesus sighing at Coldplay while Buddha plugs his ears and Socrates roasts everyone in sight? Chef’s kiss. 👨🍳💋
But the kicker—the heart of it—isn’t just the hilarity. It’s the truth behind the joke: that the Way was never meant to be weaponized, that Truth isn’t threatened by other languages of the sacred, and that Life… well, Life just wants to laugh with its friends and maybe split a molten lava cake at Applebee’s.
This piece doesn’t just poke fun—it invites us to unbutton our dogma, pour a fresh cup of humility, and sit down with the saints we’ve sanitized out of context.
More of this, please. The Church needs it. We all do.
The line, “Jesus shrugs. “And if there were only one church needing one bowling alley…I still would’ve done it all over again, “ had me laughing out loud. Thanks.
Oh this is divine satire served medium rare.
The image of Jesus sighing at Coldplay while Buddha plugs his ears and Socrates roasts everyone in sight? Chef’s kiss. 👨🍳💋
But the kicker—the heart of it—isn’t just the hilarity. It’s the truth behind the joke: that the Way was never meant to be weaponized, that Truth isn’t threatened by other languages of the sacred, and that Life… well, Life just wants to laugh with its friends and maybe split a molten lava cake at Applebee’s.
This piece doesn’t just poke fun—it invites us to unbutton our dogma, pour a fresh cup of humility, and sit down with the saints we’ve sanitized out of context.
More of this, please. The Church needs it. We all do.
I'm committed to one episode/week. If Virgin Monk boy has suggestions of where these three should venture next, fire away.
How about a pro-life protest?
Good idea! I am working on a gun show one now. If you missed it, you might like the megachurch one - https://deconstructedpastor.substack.com/p/jesus-buddha-and-socrates-attend-505?utm_source=publication-search
Thanks, I liked that one too ☺️
Love the creative writings
Thank you :)
The only way you could get me to go into a megachurch is if Buddha, Jesus, & Socrates took me along. I would like to hear Jesus sing in Aramaic.
In my mind, it was a little off key. I need a Jesus without perfect pitch.
Me too, & I think when Jesus lived as a human, he didn’t care about being perfect, just loving & compassionate.
...but it's written in red... (I was called blasphemous for not agreeing to literal translation with a family member when I was in high school.)
Chili's is better, btw.
If you didn't blaspheme in high school you were doing it wrong. :)
I'm still trying for one blasphemy a month.
😂
This is so great. How fun to see these three making good trouble!!
Thank you :)
Even the titles of these bits of imaginative speculation get the mind shooting off into such a scene. I think all three of them would approve.
:)
Loved this Joe, humour and story telling are such good, and traditional, ways of getting messages across.
Thank you, Steve. I also feel strangely better about myself receiving a compliment with humour spelled with a U. :)
😃
You've struck gold with another one Joe! I also think Socrates is slowly becoming my favorite character in these.
Thank you! He's getting Chandler Bing vibes the more we go along.
What we know
These 3 would be deported IMMEDIATELY to lower slobovia ( no internet or A/C )
Immigrants
Maybe TPS maybe a green card.,maybe none of those
Papers please???
An ICE encounter is an interesting idea
The line, “Jesus shrugs. “And if there were only one church needing one bowling alley…I still would’ve done it all over again, “ had me laughing out loud. Thanks.