The Rules of Deconstruction Club

Let's talk about this space—what it is, what it isn’t, and what my role is in it. And what are the rules of engagement?

So… I said yesterday that the next post would be about the Bible.

Yeah, I changed my mind.

And honestly? That feels kind of perfect. Because if you’re here, you probably grew up in a space where changing your mind was considered weakness.

Or rebellion.

Or sin.

But here? In what I lovingly call Deconstruction Club?

Changing your mind is the point.

Before we talk about the Bible, I want to talk about this space—what it is, what it isn’t, and what my role is in it. If you’re going to trust me to walk with you through some of the scariest questions of your life, you should probably know who I am in this story.

I’m not your new pastor. I’m not your guru. I’m not here to fix you, save you, or convert you to anything.

I’m a mix of midwife and mentor.

I’m here to help you birth something new—and make sure you don’t bleed out in the process. Whatever you rebuild on the other side of deconstruction, it’s yours. I’m just here to help you ask better questions, offer some perspective, and try to lighten the mood when things get a little too serious.

Oh, and yeah...

The first rule of Deconstruction Club is: There is no Deconstruction Club.

Except… there totally is.

And it does have rules...

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The Unofficial Rules of Deconstruction Club

Rule #1: No proselytizing.

We're not here to win people over. Not back to Jesus, not to atheism, not to progressive Christianity. If your goal is to make someone agree with you, this isn't your space. And this absolutely includes me. For this to work, I can't care what you end up believing. So I don’t. That’s not my job. My job is to help you get through this chapter of your story and make it to whatever comes next—alive, curious, and maybe even a little braver.

Rule #2: Questions are holier than answers.

Most of us were taught that having the right answers was the goal. But here, questions are the most sacred thing. Especially the uncomfortable ones. Especially the ones that lead to more questions. In Judaism, there’s a beautiful tradition called midrash—where sacred texts are explored, stretched, reimagined, and sometimes contradicted. We’ll come back to this later when we talk about how the Advent narratives might actually be the result of midrashic imagination.

Rule #3: Grace, empathy, and respect are non-negotiable.

We are coming out of all kinds of trauma. Church hurt, family wounds, spiritual manipulation. You don’t have to agree with anyone else’s conclusions, but you do have to be kind. We’re building a safe place here to question anything and evolve into who we were always meant to be—don’t mess that up.

Rule #4: Data over dogma.

We’re not going to twist facts to protect old beliefs. We’re going to look at what’s actually there—text, history, context, lived experience—and follow it where it leads. If something can’t survive contact with reality, it’s not for us. (By the way, I first heard the phrase “data over dogma” from Dan McClellan, a public theologian who unpacks biblical scholarship in plain English. Highly recommend his TikTok if you’re into that kind of thing.)

Rule #5: No assholes.

Seriously. If you come in here swinging, belittling, trolling, or trying to dominate the conversation—you’re out. And yes, I get to decide who counts as an asshole. It’s not a democracy. If you break this rule, I will banish you back to the hellscape of Facebook without hesitation.

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That’s enough for today.

Tomorrow, we’ll start unpacking the one big question—What is the Bible?

And hey, most of you found your way here because of that cryptic Facebook post I made. I didn’t drop a direct link—I asked you to DM me. That was intentional. I didn’t want it to be too easy for the people who’d come in just to argue, disrupt, or throw grenades. I wanted to protect the people who actually want—and need—to be here.

But just so we’re clear: I do want you to share anything here that feels helpful. You can post these articles, invite people into the conversation, whatever feels right to you. I just wasn’t ready to open the floodgates myself. Maybe I will later.

OK, so officially now…

Welcome to Deconstruction Club.

If this is your first night, you have to question something.

Me, in Bible College.